To Be Normal
by devil-in-the-church
Summary: He could feel. In those warm, strong arms he felt. He felt each touch. Each kiss. In Duke's arms he felt normal. -Complete-


_Disclaimer: Ownership and rights belong to the Syfy Network. I own nothing and am not making a profit from this._

_Author: So I've been rewatching season one and decided to write this. It's set directly after the first episode._

_x x x x x_

Nathan parked his truck in the harbour lot and walked down the docks towards the _Cape Rouge_.

He was trying to put thoughts of FBI Agent Audrey Parker out of his head. What she'd uncovered about Marion Caldwell was something he wasn't quite ready to deal with. He'd done well all afternoon, working through the paperwork on Ted's arrest, making certain the man would see the inside of a jail cell for what he'd done. But once the office had cleared out, and he'd been alone, he'd suddenly started thinking about it all.

Drawing a deep breath as he reached his destination, he forced thoughts of Audrey away. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of her.

He stared at the battered hull of the _Cape Rouge_ for a moment.

Wondering if this was a good idea.

"Hello, Nathan."

He jerked back a step, looking up to the deck of the ship, and found Duke smiling down at him. He scowled and Duke chuckled. "You know," Duke said, leaning against the railing. "You keep scowling like that and your face will stick that way."

Nathan tried to keep scowling but Duke's words, made him grin. Despite all his ranting about the man, when they were alone like this, Nathan found he couldn't bring himself to hate or despise Duke. Stepping up onto the boat he noticed that Duke had a case of beer sitting on the little table near the stairs leading to the helm.

"Expecting company, Duke?" He didn't want to interrupt anything. He still wasn't certain if coming here was a good idea.

"I figured you'd be along," Duke said, still grinning that goofy smile, as he walked over and sat in his favourite chair, gesturing for Nathan to sit in the other. "The whole arresting me thing never does sit well with you. No matter how much smack you talk. How's the shoulder?"

Nathan shrugged. "It's fine. Can't really feel it, so it's no big deal."

Duke glanced away but not before Nathan saw the look in those dark eyes. Nathan knew that Duke didn't always think about the fact that he couldn't feel anything. He knew that when statements about it came back to bite Duke in the ass that the dark haired man felt bad. "Duke," Nathan said softly, walking over and cupping Duke's cheek with his good hand, turning the man's head so they were looking at each other. "Duke, it's okay."

"I…I shouldn't keep forgetting."

Nathan shook his head, hand staying on Duke's cheek, and he waited. He drew a sharp breath as his palm warmed where it touched Duke's cheek. He revelled in the soft scrape of the man's beard, the hot puff of breath that ghosted over his wrist when Duke exhaled. This was why he never really tried to put Duke behind bars. He needed the man too much. Ever since he'd lost the ability to feel, Duke was the only person who could bring him to life. He was able to really live when he touched Duke.

"Nathan," Duke whispered, reaching up and covering Nathan's hand with his own. "Tell me."

Pain was beginning to ripple through his arm but he ignored it in favour of focusing on how it felt when he moved his hand, sliding his fingers through Duke's silky hair. Nathan leaned down, looking Duke in the eye. "It feels good," he said softly, watching Duke's eyes shimmer with desire. Feeling his own starting to build.

He let out a surprised sound when Duke carefully pulled him down so he was straddling the man's lap. He wrapped his good arm around Duke's neck as the man tugged his head down. Their lips met and Nathan let out a soft moan. They'd done this before but every times felt like the very first.

He closed his eyes and drank in the feeling. Putting it to memory so that tomorrow, when he couldn't just sit and touch Duke like he wanted, he could remember how it felt to be held. To be kissed.

He remembered every little thing Duke did to him just so he had a few memories of what it was like feel. Just so he could pretend he knew what it was like to be like everyone else.

_x x x x x_

_Author: And there it is. Originally this was going to be longer and have the entire, smexy scene but I found I liked it cute and fluffy. I'll probably write the smexy one late but for now this will do._


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